Five Big Brothers Blessed to Witness a Little Sister Eclipse
I’m a Big Bro to a Lil Sis.
Being a Big Brother to a Little Sister is not exactly a higher calling. Nor is it a heavy burden. But it does come along with a few simple obligations: treat your sister with love, stay ready to fight anyone who doesn’t, remain unwavering on those first two things…proceed to beam proudly witnessing lil sis rise above.
The ‘above’ may include you, your crew, or any number of fools and obstacles this cold world places in her path, with shrapnel absorbed + encouragement provided by YOU.
It’s a duty you’re always obliged t(w)o.
You only have one job before kids.
Be baby sis’ #1 advocate.
That’s essentially it.
Sounds simplistic?
Then do that shit.
In the meantime, bonded-in-between time…
Here are five fine examples, real and imagined, on how to effectively tiptoe this Big Bro/Lil Sis two-step, that best results in an impressive finish.
BART & LISA SIMPSON
Respect the Architects (even if they’re animated):
Early in The Simpsons run, four decades later ongoing, Bart Simpson’s bad boy charisma and catchphrases sold tee shirts. Lisa Simpson hunkered down and put in work.
She knew her brother loved her to death, even when he was acting like a jerk.
Bart knew Lisa’s tireless efforts, plus strong moral compass, would prove to be an effective pairing with his own wise-cracking shit-stirrer. A dynamic combination powerful enough for the whole world to bow down and observe. Go ask your oldest and most felonious, whether it be Sideshow Bob or Montgomery Burns.
A man named Matt (Groening) created these characters. He has also created ten children. His first son was the oldest. One can safely assume he might have seen some evidence of this big-bro/lil-bro phenomenon in action.
ANTHONY & CANDACE PARKER
Candace Parker might be the greatest women’s basketball player of all-time. That first sentence is debatable, but she is indisputably Top Five.
Check her resume: 2 Time NCAA Champion at Tennessee. 2 Time NCAA Player Of The Year. 3 Time Team USA Gold Medalist. 3 Time WNBA Champion. 3 Time MVP. Rookie Of The Year. Defensive Player of the Year. Only Player To Take Off A Year To Have A Child To Return Better Next Year. First Woman Analyst On An NBA Show.
Before all that tho? Candace Parker was a little sister, trying to hoop on the playgrounds of South Side Chicago, competing against grown men, alongside her older brother Anthony, the first in the Parker family to become a pro.
His professional career is wobbly by comparison. He got drafted by the Sixers in the first round of 1997. Went overseas when his NBA star aspirations weren’t quite happening. Became one of EuroLeague’s deadliest scorers for a few year spell. Came home to join the Pacers as a sought-after free agent, just around the time his lil sis was blooming.
Guaranteed that ever since then, his big bro heart has been booming.
ISAAC & MINA KIMES
Mina Kimes is a Yale graduate (Summa Cum Laude, English B.A.), 2026 Celebrity Jeopardy! champion, prior award-winning business journalist, current analyst on ESPN’s NFL Live.
She also hosts a popular NFL podcast ‘with’ her dog, Lenny, whose name sits in the masthead, married a UPENN grad, recently giving birth to their first child.
Mina Kimes is IMHO a Top 5 Media Personality Alive. The second child of a U.S. Army Father, plus a Korean-Immigrant Mother, Sun Min Kimes, who also happens to be one of the sharpest, most adorable, Twitter (F ‘X’ & F Elon!) follows in our digitally dystopian times.
Mina’s older brother, Isaac, did all the things Dad and Mom could have ever hoped he would do. Graduated from college and then law school. Became a successful trial lawyer. Gave his parents their first two grandchildren. While being his sister’s biggest cheerleader as his kids’ aunt ascended to stardom.
MILK DEE & MC LYTE
Sly said blood’s thicker than the mud. True Story. But blood is not a prerequisite to tell tales of big brother/little sister glory. Take MC Kirk “Milk Dee” Robinson, half alongside DJ Nat “Gizmo” Robisnon, of seminal eighties Brooklyn rap duo Audio Two. Milk grew up on the same block as a younger girl named Lana Moorer later known as MC Lyte. Before they were born, their mothers were tight. Audio Two went on to create one of their borough’s first undeniably indelible rap anthems, “Top Billin’”. That one hit essentially launches Top Priority Records into the hip-hop stratasphere.
Shortly thereafter, Milk Dee encourages the label to sign a teenage girl named MC Lyte, leading to a Hall of Fame career persisting to this day. Lyte may be the greatest woman in rhyme all-time. The MC widely considered publicly to be her older brother helped pave her wave by helping secure a deal, producing her classic debut Lyte As A Rock, while keeping the BK borough plus boardroom wolves at bay, as a gifted 17-year-old girl literally grew up rocking on wax plates, till gaining enough wisdom to go her own way.
What a timelessly triumphant story of pseudo-sib-hip-hop-hooray.
MATT & ERIN KOELLING (LICHTENSTEIN)
What can I say about my little sister born on July 24th that I haven’t said here before?
No flowery strings of word pearls could sufficiently surmise the level of love and pride I possess for her, always, let alone on today, her born day.
As a young, occasional rabble-rouser, I was no angel. It might have taken myself a spell to get to the point of fraternal enlightenment and gratitude expressed on this page.
Erin Lichtenstein is a doctor, an eye surgeon to be precise. She is also a wife. A mother of three great boys getting grown way quicker than any of us imagined. We are separated by three and a half years in age, but she has long since passed me in accomplishment or maturity. She has navigated choppy wudders at professional levels unseen by yours truly. In some of her limited spare time, such as last Spring while home in Philly visiting with our OG Four immediate family, she used her hard-won medical expertise along with sibling/maternalist instincts to literally save her brother’s life, slow-playing her bro into an exploratory road trip to Cooper Hospital ER, resulting in an unexpected eight-day stay, leading to necessary lifestyle changes.
A year later, feeling mighty healthy, I humbly offer up a dollop of tribut(e)ary Wudder, to express publicly what my lone sibling personally knows to be perpetually true…
SIS…LOVE YOU!!!
Keep doing all the amazing things you do.
Big Bro remains first-line of defense for you.
A brotherly wink tie-in from a 2021 Tyler The Creator album. The following tour would later be the first concert her eldest two, alongside their Unc, would get to see, with Lil Yachty opening, in Philly.
