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Thirsty Thursday: Five Thirst-Driven Songs About Thirteen for Thursday the 13th

Thirsty Thursday: Five Thirst-Driven Songs About Thirteen for Thursday the 13th

Thirst, in its many forms, has been a topic of import across the interwebs lately.

Particularly as it relates to the header photo GIF here, taken from a hilariously tone-deaf, now-infamous, faux-revolutionary-co-opting spot, shot for a popular brand of sugar-infused battery acid, featuring a young Kardashian.

Meanwhile thirst as a word, whether on its own, or adding a "-y" or "-ing" at the end of it, has many different manifestations, all open for interpretation.

So we can lead you to Wudder, but can’t make you drink, nor tell you what to think.

But on this Thirsty Thursday, the 13th, #PiecesInApril in The Five Spot brings you Thirsty Thursday: Five Thirst-Driven Songs About Thirteen for Thursday the 13th.

Open up and say ah….

Big Star-Thirteen

One of the finest evocations of early adolescent innocence and longing ever laid to wax.

Let this little piece of acoustic, cotton ear candy, locate the sweet-tooth in your soul.

Shout-out to my man, Memphis Tennessee's own Jesse Cole, a talented singer-songwriter in his own right, who always killed  by covering this Big Star classic, along with "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac and "Big Poppa" by Biggie, during all our late-night pow-wows with the Beachwood Canyon crew, at the witching hours, anywhere in Los Angeles, during the late-2000's. 

Boogie Down Productions-13 and Good

Disclaimer: I love KRS-ONE and was aurally raised on Boogie Down Productions. But this shit right here?!? This sounded problematic, even back when I first heard it as a teen, possibly before I even became familiar with the term.

I'd completely forgotten he went so far as to make a video for this. I’m not even gonna fully re-watch it, because I don’t feel the urge to cringe for four straight minutes. You can tell me about it later, if you choose to do so. But the song, unfortunately, is a statutory story I won’t soon forget, even if it’s been ages since I’ve heard it. It’s as if KRS thought to himself, how do I make that awkward voiceover bit at the end of Slick Rick’s ‘The Moment I Feared’, into a full length, far more questionable song? Mission, uh, Accomplished, Kris.

 

The Pixies-No. 13 Baby

This little No. 13 ditty, signifying the number thirteen engraved across a spot that rhymes with ditty that's usually hidden, certainly starts off with a bang. But when it truly kicks into gear, in the final two-minute frame?!? Grab yourself a drink of wudder before you start to choke on all the Pixie-dust. Dear Frank Black/Black Francis, get Kim Deal back in this band, or call it something else. Because Kim’s bass, occasional lead or backup vocals, plus bad-ass-rock-chick swagger, are all essential ingredients.

 

Neil Young-This Note’s For You (live Lucky Thirteen version)

Okay, we’re cheating just a bit here. Technically, 13 is never mentioned in this song. Yet this version, off Neil Young’s Lucky Thirteen album, a compilation of odds-and-sods from Neil’s most purposefully obtuse, anti-commercial era. How anti-commercial? Note the song’s opening line, "I don't sing for Pepsi, I don't sing for Coke'. The video Neil directed for this, ended up being banned by MTV, presumably for its overt mocking of its Corporate American Cola-sponsors, among other targets. Meanwhile, Geffen Records' Owner David Geffen went on to sue Neil Young, then on his label in the early eighties, for breach of contract, mostly due to the strange, synth-based songs from that era, on Trans and later Lucky Thirteennot sounding “Neil Young enough”. 

 

Danzig-Thirteen

If you overindulge your thirst on Thursday, what might Friday bring?

*cue Jeopardy music*

That’s right, kids, The Hangover!

Suppose we could have linked up the Johnny Cash version, which Glenn Danzig penned specifically for The Man in Black, during his Rick Rubin late-career-period. Or maybe we could have just linked up the soundtrack version of the song, that Danzig cut with his own band later.

But who really remembers either of those, any more than a drunk can recall the last waking moments from his worst blackout? Instead, what gets remembered is the aftermath, which this song helps to set the tone for, in the memorable opening credits of this mid-2000’s smash-hit comedy, later spawning two more films we’d like to forget.

 

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